Life is Hard

Sometimes I wish I could just let it all out. There is not a day that goes by that I am reminded that there must be more to life than what we have here on this earth. Who would want to spend the rest of their life in this type of world. The world is getting more chaotic every day, and you hear more and more, "in my day we would have never said that, done that, etc..." So what happened. People have given up and said its too hard to be a parent, teacher, child, leader, giver. It is all about what is in it for me.
This past month has been extremely hard for me. There has been some changes in my job and people who are disrespectful and rude. I politely point out I really don't appreciate how things are but it makes no difference. Have you ever walked into a place and felt sick to your stomach. That is how I feel almost every day. It is taking a toll on my attitude and body. I don't sleep and therefore I feel extremely tired all the time. I have a very short fuse with my family and take a lot of my frustration out on them. This in turn is not fair to them. I am treating them the way I feel I am being treated at work. I know God didn't intend for my life to feel this way.
Every day on my way to work I listen to my scriptures from my phone, today I just couldn't do it. Instead I put on a cd and listened to the words of a song called Soldier and the Thief. It talks about when Christ dies and the soldier wonders what he has done in despair where the thief felt his sins lifted. I don't know why but this struck something in me. What have I done lately...am I acting like one of the soldiers that is hauling Christ to his death or am I embracing in the wonderful gift of his atonement. I don't have to be this depressed to where everyone around me is miserable. I can use the gift that has been given to me. Granted it is way easier said than done but I have let my struggles get the best of me instead of letting them go. This life is hard but it is not too hard. I don't have to be that perfect mom because it doesn't exist, no one is perfect on this earth except for Christ. I need to remember this. Again easier said than done. My human brain constantly forgets to do the easy things that will bring me happiness.
Just remember life is good and God is Great. He will not let us drown or not do what we can not handle. It has been me the last few months that has lost this connection to him and that has made me feel all alone even though I am not. I will survive and will accomplish what I need to. I know that I am suppose to succeed and will be blessed for it.

My nonfluent rant is over I feel better that I at least wrote it out.